


The Homosexual Education of Jared Padalecki

by RenjiFan



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Schmoop, Sexy Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:40:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24883978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenjiFan/pseuds/RenjiFan
Summary: His “One Day at a Time” thing wasn’t just a turn-of-phrase. Of course not. With Jensen, everything he said had a deeper meaning. And this time, it meant one progression of sexual contact a day, for a week, until they finally reached sex.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	The Homosexual Education of Jared Padalecki

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ December 2008

Their first kiss doesn’t count, or so Jensen says as he meticulously wipes up the splashes of orange juice he’s pouring for the two of them over breakfast.

“How does it not count?” Jared asks around his piece of toast and Jensen quirks a brow at him, “What are you, five?” spelled out clearly on his sleep-rumpled features.

“Drunken kisses at someone’s birthday party don’t count,” he explains as if he were speaking to a five-year-old. He picks up his fork and points it at Jared. “If we’re gonna do this… this whole ‘let’s be gay together’ thing,” he goes on, waving the fork back and forth between them in demonstration. “We’re gonna do it right. Therefore, it doesn’t count.”

“You’ve done this before,” Jared says and it’s not a question. He’s never asked and Jensen’s never mentioned it, but Jared has always seen the glances Jensen gives some of their more attractive male guest stars. He hadn’t been surprised to see Jensen practically do a double-take when they met Matt Cohen at a CW casting meet a few months back. Jared couldn’t figure out why he got such a negative “stay-away” vibe when Eric introduced them to the man cast to play a younger version of their characters’ father this season, had chalked it up to his inner Sam’s “daddy” problems, but now it’s kinda starting to make a little more sense.

Jensen nods as he chews his eggs; nods as if verifying he’s driven a car or something and the nonchalance throws Jared a little bit. This is a big deal, here. He’s never been gay before, but if anyone was going to make him go that route, he’s not surprised it’s Jensen. Hell, Jen could turn Ellen Degeneres onto men. Maybe even Rosie O’Donnell. But wow, now the image of Rosie and Jensen is stuck in his head and he might’ve just lost his appetite.

Jared shakes his head to clear it and takes a hearty sip of his orange juice in hopes of gathering some sort of semblance to early-morning-and-really-hung-over sanity. “So, how do we do this right?” he asks finally, setting his glass down to peer curiously at Jensen.

Jensen tilts his head to the side and studies Jared’s face for a moment before a small smile tugs at the sides of his mouth. “You’re serious,” he says and Jared detects a bit of disbelief coloring the words.

“What? You’re surprised?” Jared gapes. How in the hell could Jensen ever doubt anyone’s desire to sleep with him. That’s… That’s… insanity.

Jensen lets out a huff of a laugh and shakes his head. “Yeah,” he answers honestly. “Jay, you’re straight.”

Jared nods. “I know!” he agrees. “But, Jesus, Jen, have you looked in a mirror lately? And according to last night, my dick…” Jared motions toward his crotch with his egg-filled fork and drops some of the fluffy chunks in his lap. “Not so much with the completely straight.”

Jensen laughs and takes a sip from his coffee, his eyes never leaving Jared over the rim of the mug. Jared fidgets under the scrutiny. He doesn’t like the thought that Jensen wouldn’t want to do this, to take their relationship to the next level. Hell, they’re best friends, they live together. Jensen means more to him than anyone or anything on Earth, and let’s face it, it’s a pretty big planet, so if he… if he doesn’t want to do this…

“We gotta take it one day at a time,” Jensen says, spurring Jared from his internal worrying.

“So… slow,” Jared reiterates, hoping this is the agreement he thinks it is.

Jensen purses his lips. “Kinda,” he says thoughtfully, stabbing a piece of sausage. “We’ll take our time. We’ve got, what? A week before filming starts?” He plops the sausage in his mouth and Jared nods his affirmative as he figures it out in his head. It’s Sunday now. They start filming a week from tomorrow. “So, one day at a time. If by next Sunday, you’re freaking out, we’ll just call it off, go back to the way things were. No harm, no foul.” Jensen finishes, raising his eyebrow in question at Jared as he reaches once again for his coffee.

Jared stares thoughtfully at his eggs for a moment, contemplating exactly what Jensen means by freaking out, but he’s a pretty bright boy, contrary to popular belief and he recognizes that Jensen probably thinks he’ll go ape-shit somewhere down the line about being with a guy and wants to get it out of the way early before they can potentially damage their relationship. He knows there is potential to fuck up their friendship and that is really scary, but Jensen is offering them a week, a simple week, removed from the whole equation, to try this out, see if it works.

Surprisingly, or rather, not-so-surprisingly seeing as how this is Jensen Ackles we’re talking about, Jared doesn’t think he’s gonna have that big of a problem in the whole gay sex thing. Sure, it’s a scary concept but he’s comfortable enough with who he is, his sexuality, and he sure as hell trusts Jensen. As he thinks it over, he really can’t see why they shouldn’t try this, if the possibility of an actual fulfilling, romantic relationship with his best friend is possible.

He looks up and meets Jensen’s gaze, green eyes still staring questioningly from across the table. “One day at a time,” he agrees and smiles so wide, he can feel the pockets his dimples form in his cheeks, and when Jensen grins back, lines forming around his eyes, he smiles just that much harder.

~*~

The first “official” kiss happens after breakfast.

Since Jensen moved in, the two of them have fallen into a type of routine with certain things, meals being one of them. They clear the table quickly and Jared wraps the leftover sausage while Jensen loads the dishwasher. They never actually say anything during these times, just assume their roles as they do the job, just like on set; both of them moving alongside but never in the way of the other.

So when Jared stands after placing the cling-wrapped leftovers on the bottom shelf of the fridge, he’s a little surprised to feel Jensen step up behind him. He turns slowly, heart suddenly beating an erratic ta-ta-ta-tap in his chest. Jensen’s arm reaches around him to gently guide the refrigerator door closed, body following in and pressing closer to Jared as he effectively pins him on one side, hand bracing his weight on the now closed door. Jared swallows to wet his suddenly dry throat when their eyes finally meet, the look on Jensen’s face making his knees wobble just a little bit.

“Hey,” Jensen says and his breath smells like coffee and sausage but Jared really can’t care because Jensen is close enough that he can smell his breath, and oh yeah, he really doesn’t think he’s gonna have a problem with this whole gay thing if Jensen keeps looking at him like that.

“H-Hey,” he stutters back, his attempt at ‘smooth’ completely shot because he’s a spaz and they both know it and the amusement curling through the heat in Jensen’s eyes calms him just a bit. At least that part’s familiar. He thinks that Jensen probably has the most expressive and gorgeous eyes on the planet. It’s not the first time he’s had this thought, but aside from last night’s hazy adventure, he can’t remember ever having those eyes look at him quite like this and he’s allowed to openly stare back instead of ducking away when Jensen catches him staring, like usual. The pricks of black and gold that surround Jensen’s wide pupils are alluring, almost intoxicating, the intricate speckles of color weaving through and around each other and this close, he can make out every single one.

But then Jensen is moving again, leaning closer and those beautiful eyes are slowly covered as Jensen’s eyelids fall closed. Jared finds himself mimicking the action, his body moving forward of its own accord, eyes closing until he feels the first warm press of Jensen’s lips against his own, chest pressing lightly against Jared’s as the world seems to tilt sideways. Jared clutches the counter beside him to ensure he doesn’t end this preemptively by falling on his ass from lack of grace or oxygen and follows his body’s order of more by bringing his other hand up to cup Jensen’s cheek.

Jensen lets out a tiny groan, the sound forming in the back of his throat and following his tongue outward as it teases the seam of Jared’s mouth. Jared’s hand clenches tighter on the counter, short-clipped nails digging into the granite underside as he shifts his head just a bit to the right and parts his lips on a sigh.

Jared knows he can be indulgent, over-exaggerate and make everything seem epic when it’s really just a miniscule fact of the day, but when their tongues meet, the wet muscles sliding in alongside each other between the meeting of their mouths, he swears he’s not blowing anything out of proportion when he thinks it’s electric. It’s like someone hooked up twin clamps, one to his mouth, one to his dick, and they’re feeding him hot pulses from the outlet or something because suddenly he finds himself in motion. His fingers release from the counter and then he’s got Jensen’s face framed with both hands, body rising to its full height as his neck bends to kiss that perfect mouth and the warmth settles deep in his bones as he presses against Jensen more soundly, from mouths to knees. Jensen moans loudly and Jared feels the vibrations of it in his own throat as their tongues press and pull, slip and slide against one another.

Jensen’s hands are on his waist now, fingertips pressing tightly into the flesh of his hips and Jared can’t help it when his own hands reach up, fingertips pulling lightly through Jensen’s short-cropped and messy hair, every inch of his own body thrumming with resounding need as his fingers trail down, palms folding upward to mold against the perfect angles of Jensen’s jaw as it works around their fornicating tongues.

His dick feels hot and heavy as he presses against Jensen and they both whine at the contact, Jensen’s fingers stinging as they grip even tighter into his skin. Jared is panting, his eyes wide and expectant when Jensen pulls away, his eyes still closed, breath coming in short gasps from kiss-swollen and parted lips and Jared’s gaze is held by the color, the shape of them as they begin to form words. “Just kissing today,” Jensen whispers and Jared’s eyes widen a fraction in surprise.

“Wha?” he asks none too eloquently and Jensen’s eyes slowly open to reveal nothing but black-blown pupils surrounded by the tiniest sliver of pale green. Jared watches as Jensen audibly swallows, one of his hands rising to press lightly in the center of Jared’s chest, his own eyes staring at the spot where his palm presses against Jared’s shirt.

“Takin’ it one day at a time,” Jensen explains, still breathless and way too coherent in Jared’s opinion. When Jensen’s eyes flicker up and meet Jared’s, his heart trips over itself in his chest and he suspects Jensen can feel it when his lips twist into a slight smirk. “Today… is just kissin’,” he says and Jared’s blank, got nothing, cause somewhere between putting the sausage in the fridge and Jensen shoving his tongue down his throat, his brain decided to take a vacation and the only thoughts he can process are coming straight from his dick. He might make a spoiled, pouty whine without realizing it because Jensen’s smirk is a full-blown grin now as he leans forward, their lips barely touching as he breathes out, “Kiss me again, Jay.”

And really? That is not something Jared thinks anyone is capable of saying no to. So he does.

~*~

Jared is lying in bed, his hand resting twitchingly on his stomach as the events of the day run through his head. He really can’t believe it. It all feels kind of surreal. Him and Jensen. Jensen and him. They’re really doing this, but of course, Jensen being the control freak that he is, had to go and put controls and conditions on everything. It’s probably for the best, he thinks, as he plays with the frayed hem of his boxers. Jensen has done this type of thing before, had a relationship with a guy, had the whole gay sex thing, so he’s more capable of making informed decisions with his head and not his prick. But it still doesn’t make things any easier for Jared as he sits there half-hard like he’s been all fucking day with the taste of Jensen’s mouth on his tongue.

Jensen had explained his strategy when they’d finally parted from the kitchen and moved to the couch. His “One Day at a Time” thing wasn’t just a turn-of-phrase. Of course not. With Jensen, everything he said had a deeper meaning. And this time, it meant one progression of sexual contact a day, for a week, until they finally reached sex. Today was the first of those progressions: kissing, and nothing but.

Oh, Jared had tried, though, he tried so very, very hard to get Jensen to waver on that, because even though their mouths were fucking each other more often than not throughout the day, Jared’s dick was feeling mighty neglected, and yeah, he might’ve begged a little for Jensen to touch him when they were on the couch, Guitar Hero long forgotten as their hands explored warm flesh beneath cotton t-shirts. Jensen had groaned, and Jared thought for a fleeting moment that he would give in, but instead, Jensen had pulled away, straightening before pulling his guitar back into his lap and taking the deepest breath Jared had ever seen and letting it out slowly through flared nostrils.

“One day at a time,” he’d said and Jared nodded. Jensen was the most stubborn son of a bitch he knew, but he was also one of the smartest and the most gorgeous and goddamn the man knew how to kiss, so Jared looked down longingly at the outline of his cock in his jeans for a moment before shrugging and picking up his own guitar.

Now, though, having parted to their separate rooms and floors, Jared can’t help his thoughts as they go over the events of the day. It was so fucking hot, kissing Jensen, touching him, feeling him respond and arch against him, feel and taste the hunger pouring from him. He had a newfound respect for his best friend’s self control because he could tell Jensen wanted to get off just as bad as he did. At the end of the night, when they’d finally decided to get some sleep because they needed to get back on some semblance of a schedule for filming next week, Jensen had even made a crack about “taking care of some business” before settling down for the night.

Finally slipping his hand below the hem of his boxers, Jared closes his eyes and bites down on his lower lip as the contact sends a thrill of sensation through him, pushing out his aimless thoughts to simply remember how Jensen felt against him, picturing Jensen doing the same in his room directly below him.

He comes on a choked gasp of Jensen’s name and passes out almost immediately, hand still wet and sweaty under the hem of his boxers.

~*~

Monday morning comes into focus as the sound of Jared’s alarm clock blares beside him from the nightstand. He groans as he turns and flails his arm out toward the sound, pressing random buttons until silence finally rings peacefully in the room. He sighs as he turns onto his back, eyes open and staring at the ceiling.

He always envies how Jensen can snuggle back into his sheets after the alarm goes off, back to sleep in seconds like the interruption of his beauty sleep never happened. It’s irritating sometimes, that Jared only seems to have two modes, awake and asleep and while it never takes him much time to fall asleep at the end of the day, once he’s shocked awake by the alarm and the sun is making its appearance over the horizon, that’s it, he’s done, body alert and ready for the new day.

He lets out a disgusted grunt as he feels his boxers peel away from his front when he swings his legs over the side of the bed to sit. He scratches the back of his head and smiles when he sees Sadie’s head peek through the barely opened door, ears perked and eyes bright.

“Mornin’ girl,” he says quietly and he swears she smiles before nudging the door open all the way as she makes her way through, Harley hot on her heels. His dogs really are the best, the closest thing to children he can imagine. They understand and love him unconditionally, can read him just as well as he can read them, know exactly when to reach out, when to back off, when to lick him senseless or simply offer a snuggle for comfort.

He reaches down and scratches behind Harley’s ear as Sadie hops up on the bed to lick affectionately at her master’s face. When he bought the house, he’d set up a room just for them, huge doggie beds and toys covering every surface and they’d looked at him curiously before sniffing out the new digs. It had only taken a week to train them to sleep in the room designated for them rather than in the hallway outside of his door. It’d been a rule from the moment he’d caught Harley sniffing curiously in his closet at the apartment he’d rented when he first got to Vancouver, no doggies in the room without Daddy, but he’s awake now, and all is good as Harley jumps to his hind legs, front paw resting on Jared’s thighs as he licks all the spots Sadie missed.

“Alright, alright,” Jared laughs, pulling away from the attention and Harley steps back, front legs falling back to the floor before running full out toward the hall. Daddy’s up, and that means outside and Sadie’s ears perk as she watches Harley, a second behind him and yelping out what Jared imagines is a wait up, asshole as Jared stands and pulls on the velour robe his momma bought him last Christmas.

Jensen’s door is still closed when he walks past it downstairs, heading toward the twin French doors leading to the back deck. The morning is crisp as it almost always is in Vancouver, and Jared wraps his arms tightly around his chest after opening the door, smiling as his babies head out, side-by-side for a moment before breaking into a run toward opposite corners of the yard past the deck.

He closes the door behind him and rolls his neck around, loosening it as he pads toward the kitchen. He has a routine in the mornings, finds it’s something that he needs to keep sane, something he enjoys, a form of control in his whirlwind life.

He downs his protein shake in three gulps before fetching a bottle of water and checking on the dogs. They’re playing tug-of-war with one of their braided ropes and pay him no mind so he heads upstairs. A quick wipe down and a change of boxers and he feels less gross, pulls on a pair of track pants and sits down on his bed to pull on his tennis shoes.

His gym downstairs isn’t anything noteworthy, simply a treadmill, an old bench his daddy gave him when he first moved to L.A., various mix-matched weights scattered around it, and a Bowflex he bought on a whim after settling down in the new house. He’d always been into being healthy, keeping himself in good form, because Hollywood was so fucking cynical and beauty-centric, but he also enjoyed the way it felt, the way it helped him deal with his stress.

It was the fact that Jared had bulked up almost three inches in two months that clued Jensen into the fact that Jared’s relationship with Sandy was in turmoil. When they broke up a month later, Jensen had Fed-Exed him a medicine ball to the set of Friday the 13th and Jared had laughed. But he’d also used the damned thing every day and his abs looked awesome.

His eyes flicker to the corner of his gym, gaze falling on the round blue ball sitting there and he can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips. Jensen really is the best friend he’s ever had, more attuned to him than anyone he’s ever met and he can’t really shake the feeling that this week is the start of something amazing, something epic.

If the fangirls could only hear him now.

*

It’s close to eight when he opens the front door, dogs waiting patiently to be released from their leashes in the foyer as Jared toes off his shoes. The run had done wonders for his peace of mind, his body thrumming with energy and the familiar, comfortable feel of exertion and he clicks open the fasteners on the dogs’ leashes before hanging them on their assigned peg near the front door.

He can smell coffee permeating through the house and knows Jensen’s up, probably still half-dead to the world, sipping at his mug as he mindlessly stares out the kitchen window. He almost chuckles when he enters the kitchen to find his mental image almost spot on, Jensen standing against the counter, mug gripped tightly between his hands as if the contents are holy, eyes closed as he inhales the faint wisps of steam swirling from the rim.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” he says brightly as he passes by Jensen to fetch another bottle of water from the fridge. He huffs a laugh at Jensen’s mumbled reply as he stands and twists the cap off, taking a light sip from the bottle. He lets himself stare a bit as he stands there, eyes travelling over Jensen’s sleepy face, eyelids swollen, pinked with the remnants of sleep, his lips puffy and pale as they blow gently over the scalding coffee before taking a sip.

There’s a pillow crease pressed into the side of Jensen’s cheek, a dip of skin that reaches at an odd angle from his temple and down to his chin, his jaw darkened by stubble but Jared really can’t see a single imperfection on the man in front of him. He wonders if all of these sudden observations are something new, or if he’d noticed them before, maybe filing them in under “irrelevant Jensen facts” in his head. Except, now, they feel anything but irrelevant and he can’t help but think how blind he’s been all these years, or, if not blind, then pretty damn good at repression.

“You’re staring at me,” Jensen mumbles, eyes still closed before wrapping his lips around the rim of his coffee and taking a slow sip. Jared grins and simply hums out an “mmhmm” as he takes another pull from his bottle. His grin blossoms into a smile when he sees Jensen’s mouth twitch, corners threatening to rise. A smile from Jensen before at least two cups of coffee is an achievement Jared has only reached a handful of times, usually by way of accidentally impaling himself on something or falling down the stairs after Sadie decided the best way to get around Jared was to bust through his legs.

When Jensen’s eyes open slowly, Jared is still grinning at him and Jensen finally gives in to temptation, allows his mouth to curve upward into a soft smile around the rim of his mug. His gaze is glassy, still sleepy, but there is a warmth there that Jared can feel down to his toes. This isn’t something new, the warmth. Jared has associated Jensen with this feeling since the end of season two, since he asked Jensen what he was thinking of during his monologue with a dead Sam; since Jensen confessed he had pictured Jared in Sam’s place. The warmth is nothing new, but it feels intensified as they stand there, comfortable, watching each other in silence.

The moment is broken when Harley sticks his wet nose in Jensen’s boxer-clad crotch and he spits coffee across the room on a curse and Jared cracks his shit up so hard he thinks he sees stars.

~*~

Jared tries not to make a big deal about the physical change in their relationship, tries to let Jensen take the lead on any interactions between them that are more than their typical shit and Jensen does. Little touches that are everything like before and nothing like it at the same time; more intimate now, accompanied by a look of both wonder and excitement from both of them. Jensen wraps his arms around him while he fixes breakfast, lays a quick kiss on his shoulder and Jared can’t help the grin that seems permanently fixed on his face as he turns around and pulls Jensen in for a real kiss.

It’s all so new and exciting but at the same time, it feels so practiced, so familiar, and it just makes it that much better when Jensen pulls away and gives him one of his brilliant smiles, eyes alight and crinkled, perfect teeth shining through his spit-glistened lips.

Nothing else really changes, though. They eat breakfast and clean up, Jared showers and dresses for the day as Jensen argues with his sister via IM on his laptop from the couch, audibly voicing his aggravation loudly as if she can really hear him through the monitor screen. Jared gets a call from Marcus reminding him about the teleconference with the production team from Friday tomorrow.

It’s all pretty normal, except when Jensen goes to leave around one to meet with his agent and Jared pulls him into a heated kiss good-bye. That part’s new, but with the way Jensen is moaning into his mouth and scrabbling to pull him closer, he doesn’t think Jensen’s complaining about the new facet to their normal “See ya later!”

When Jensen pulls away, breath coming fast, eyes blown dark and narrowed at Jared, Jared’s dick does a little dance of joy before Jensen shoves at him and grumbles, “Gonna make me late… fuckin’…” as he pulls on his jacket.

Jared smirks and smacks his ass before heading back toward the living room. “See ya later, man,” he tosses over his shoulder and he can still hear Jensen mumbling under his breath before the door opens and closes quietly. He grins to himself as he heads to his study to check his email.

~*~

The afternoon ends up being pretty warm and the heat follows into the early evening as Jared starts up the grill perched in the corner of his deck. The sun is halfway toward the horizon when he settles two steaks on the warmed grates, flames flickering as blood drips and sizzles on the fire. Harley is hovering behind him, nose working overtime as Jared drops down the skewers filled to the edge with raw vegetables and closes the range hood.

He plops down on the built-in bench running along the side of the deck and Harley follows, lying at his feet, both of them watching as Sadie runs around chasing the birds attempting to get the first evening worms from their yard.

Jared feels content, something that isn’t easily achieved for him most days. Most of the time, he has to keep moving, be doing something, anything because he’s just that kind of guy. His head is always spinning out of control with wild thoughts and he constantly has an internal monologue with himself about mindless shit but right now… His head is quiet, body relaxed as he waits on the food to cook.

He jumps slightly from his daze when Jensen opens the back door and steps outside. He looks weary and irritated as he stares out at the yard, at Sadie and Jared straightens from his spot on the bench. “Hey,” he says in welcome and the lines creasing Jensen’s brow soften as he looks over to the side of the deck where Jared is perched.

“Hey,” he says quietly as he walks over, sitting beside him on the wooden platform. “What ‘cha cookin’?” he asks, eyes flickering over to the grill and Jared stands, steps over to check on the steaks and kabobs that had been forgotten while he zoned out in the peacefulness of the early evening.

“Steaks and veggies,” he says as he flips the steaks, relieved when he sees they’re just right for medium on their backs. He rotates the skewers before closing the grill back and turning to face Jensen. “Bad day?” he asks, arms crossing against his chest as he props against the deck railing.

Jensen nods, hand scrubbing roughly over his face. “Fucking Gabe, man,” he complains. Jared has never understood why Jensen’s agent’s assistant always seemed to go out of his way to irritate his co-star, but from the way Jensen’s face contorts at just the memory, he kinda wants to throttle the guy regardless. “I swear, he came in there like eighteen times. Would not let us finish up. And it was stupid shit, like, did we need anything, or ‘so-n-so is on the phone, should I take a message?’ ‘I don’t think I wiped my ass to your approval on my last trip to the can, can you check?’ Over and over.” Jared listens with a slight smirk as Jensen vents, watches as he lets his hand drop resignedly to his lap as he looks up at Jared. “Never been more glad to be home, man. That guy makes me wanna gut myself with a spoon.”

Jared snorts and turns toward the grill, eyeing their food through the glass in the front as Jensen rises and comes to stand beside him. He doesn’t say anything when Jensen leans on him, rests his head on Jared’s shoulder. He just wraps his arm around Jensen’s waist and supports him, let him know through the touch that he’ll gladly shoulder any weight Jensen wants to hand over. That’s something that’s been true all along.

~*~

It’s not until after they’ve eaten, shred through a six-pack of Heineken and are efficiently killing off the Allies on Call of Duty via Live when Jared realizes they haven’t done anything more than kiss. And he knows Jensen. Knows that when he said there was to be a progression a day, he meant it. He doesn’t know what that progression is, but the sudden thought that something hotter than kissing Jensen could be occurring sometime soon makes him shift uncomfortably in his seat on the couch.

Jensen cuts his eyes, casts a quick glance at him and Jared can make out the beginnings of a smirk Dean Winchester himself would be proud of making its way onto his face. Son-of-a-bitch, Jared thinks, because if anything, Jared can read his best friend’s expressions almost better than he can decipher his words. That smirk means Jensen knows something Jared doesn’t, that Jared’s being slow on the uptake again, that it’s about damn time. That one little smirk means all of those things and before he realizes what he’s doing, Jared’s jabbing the green X in the center of his controller, effectively bringing up the Xbox menu and exiting the game.

Jensen chuckles darkly as he leans forward to put his controller on the coffee table and Jared’s already reaching for him. Jensen allows himself to be pulled, turns and walks on his knees, lifting one to straddle Jared’s lap. “Took ya long enough,” he says lowly as he rests his ass on Jared’s thighs, looking both needy and amused at the same time and Jared lets out a mumbled ‘shut up’ before bringing his hand up to cup the back of Jensen’s head and pull him to his mouth.

It’s nothing like the intense and frantic kiss in the kitchen the day before, more like the kiss they shared this morning when Jared was fixing breakfast. It’s slow and languid, careful and carefree, their lips parting at the same time, tongues reaching out to taste as their hands both cup the other’s face, thumbs brushing slowly against day-old stubble. They kiss for a long time, neither speaking as their mouths open and close against the other, hands trailing gently against exposed skin and clothed chests.

It’s quiet and serene, like the setting sun and Jared loses himself in it just as much as he had earlier. Finds his mind quiet and content to be consumed with nothing but his friend’s touch, his warmth, his breath skirting across his skin as Jensen kisses open and wetly down the jut of his jaw to his neck.

His pulse is pounding, and he can feel his cock hardening as the caresses continue, Jensen’s hands creeping down before rising again, this time under the material of Jared’s t-shirt as he mouths at the junction of his neck and shoulder.

“Jen…” he whispers, afraid to speak too loud in the moment and his hands fall to rest at Jensen’s waist, a gasp escaping him as Jensen brushes his thumb over the peak of his nipple, teasing the bud before rolling it between skilled fingers.

Jensen’s mouthing words silently against his skin, teeth biting lightly into the taut flesh as Jared lets his head fall back to the couch. His body is hot, need threading its way through his veins as Jensen’s hands continue their slow torture and Jared groans loudly when he feels Jensen rock forward, the outline of his erection rubbing against Jared’s and the friction is so fucking good.

His hands move upward, framing Jensen’s face and guiding it to his and Jensen comes willingly, his hips rocking forward again as their mouths meet on a moan. Jensen braces his hands on the back of the couch, mouth working against Jared’s just as slowly as his hips and Jared’s mind is lost to the feel of friction and the taste of Jensen as he sucks on his tongue, hands following each torturous and glorious tilt of Jensen’s body into his.

“Feel good?” Jensen breathes against him and all Jared can do is grunt as Jensen pistons forward suddenly, rocking forward and up before shoving back down in a move Jared seriously thinks just made every one of his brain cells go on permanent vacation.

His hands work blindly, trailing upward and pulling Jensen free of the cotton shirt Jared suddenly despises for keeping him away from Jensen’s bare flesh and Jensen releases his hold on the couch just long enough to let Jared pull the shirt up over his head before his mouth is back on Jared’s, hands braced on either side of his head, hips working faster now as Jared arches up to meet him. His hands travel the length of Jensen’s back, corded muscle bunching and relaxing under his touch.

“Fuck…” Jared pulls away and rests his cheek on Jensen’s flushed skin, breaths coming fast as pleasure crashes over him with each thrust and he’s holding on to Jensen for dear life.

“Jay…” Jensen breathes above him, one hand coming to push through Jared’s hair, molding to the back of his skull, pulling him closer still. “I’m…”

“God, me, too,” he chokes out and pulls away just enough to see. He wants to see Jensen when it happens, burn the memory into his mind’s eye so he’ll never forget, but when their eyes meet and he sees the want and need and fucking longing shining back at him, Jared loses it and feels his own rhythm stutter as his cock swells even further and his eyes screw tight as he comes, over and over, Jensen still rocking against him, the friction both beautiful and painful and he pushes his head back into the couch as he hears Jensen gasp, hips wavering and it’s all Jared can do to hold on, push and pull Jensen against him as Jensen’s breath shudders above him.

He doesn’t even realize his eyes are still closed until his head slowly comes back to awareness, his hand moving mindlessly, fingers caressing the soft hair on the back of Jensen’s head as Jensen pants against his chest, forehead rested against his shoulder. “Holy fuck,” Jensen gets out and Jared can only hum in agreement, too lazy and satisfied, the feel of Jensen’s hair enthralling and soothing.

When Jensen sits up, his face is still flushed, freckles standing out in stark contrast and Jared smiles up at him, “So that was lesson two?”

Jensen grins, breath still coming quickly and Jared can’t help but watch the fast rise and fall of his chest for a moment before returning his eyes to Jensen’s flushed face. “You could call it that,” Jensen says amusedly before leaning forward and planting a quick kiss against Jared’s lips. Jared wants to complain when Jensen scrambles backwards to his feet, standing and stretching his arms above his head before grimacing at the wet mess visible on the outside of his jeans. “God, I need a shower.”

Jared looks down and finds a matching spot making its way through his own jeans and chuckles. “Seems to be a trend,” he says lightly and Jensen smacks him in the back of the head as he makes his way toward his bedroom. Jared sits quietly for a moment before hearing Jensen’s shower turn on and he slowly makes his way off the couch and up the stairs toward his own room and bath.

So far, this week has been hell on his underwear.

~*~

Tuesday, Jensen doesn’t wait for Jared to say or do anything.

Jared’s got an “important” teleconference with the Friday team at nine half way across town, so Jensen is barely coherent by the time Jared kisses his temple and runs out the door, hoping to avoid morning traffic.

The “importance” of the conference, it seems, is to reiterate the importance of not revealing any plot details for the movie during their press coverage in the coming months and Jared can’t help but roll his eyes. He suddenly remembers this is a video conference and holds back any further eye movements, but assures his producers that he is used to dancing around plotlines delicately when it comes to the press and fans, and they have absolutely nothing to worry about.

When he gets back to the house around noon, Jensen is gone, a note scribbled in his handwriting lying on the counter, “At the store. You forgot to get toilet paper, you fucknut.” Jared grins and crumples the note, tossing it in the trash before heading upstairs.

He’d woken up at four a.m. to ensure he’d have enough time to work out before his meeting, but the lack of sleep has left him groggy and listless so when Jared reaches his room, he changes into the comfort of his sweats and a t-shirt and settles on his bed. He reads for a while, Harley and Sadie curled on either side of his legs as he focuses on the words spread across the pages, but after reading the same sentence three times and still not understanding, Jared relents, rests the book on his chest and closes his eyes. A little nap never hurt nobody.

__

Jared groans weakly, his head still mostly submersed in sleep, but something feels really fucking good and he can’t help but tilt his hips to find more of that blessed friction. He thinks fleetingly that he must be coming out of a good dream, grinding down against his mattress like some familiar mornings, but as his head clears, he realizes he’s not pushing down, he’s pushing up, and there is something warm and slick wrapped around his dick.

  
His eyes open in a flash and he scrambles a bit, adrenaline spiking as he tries to sort out his situation in his confused and sleep-ridden head. He’s met with a gruff laugh and a warm palm to his chest and he sags as he realizes it’s just Jensen…

  
Just Jensen, who happens to be jerking him off with lube… self-warming lube if that rabid warmth is any indication and he can’t help but bite his lip as his eyes trail down to where Jensen has pulled him free of his sweats, cock hard and slipping through Jensen’s fist and ohhhh lord, that’s really fucking hot.

  
“Welcome back, Sleepin’ Beauty,” Jensen says, amusement lighting his eyes as Jared moans at the twist of his wrist. This has got to be the most awesome wake-up tactic ever and Jared’s eyes close as Jensen scoots closer, laying down alongside him, warmth pressing against him as his hard strokes begin to come faster.

  
“Jensen, wha-” Jared wants to tell him how good it feels, wants to tell him how fucking great Jensen is for even thinking of this, wants to ask where he learned that thing with his thumb and index finger but his tongue is too busy pushing out moans and grunts as Jensen breathes into his ear.

  
“Want you to come, Jared…” he says, his voice dropping to octaves Jared didn’t think possible. “Lesson…” Tug, pull, twist. “Three.” One more pull and Jared’s back is arching, cock driving into Jensen’s fist, his come jerking from his dick as if some entity is fucking pulling it out of him and he can’t help the choked of sob of Jensen’s name as that magnificent friction milks him dry.

  
Jared slumps back to the bed, head falling to the side as he stares in wonder at Jensen lying beside him, his hand not moving but still loosely wrapped around Jared’s softening cock.

  
“One hell of a wake up call, huh?” Jensen grins and Jared moans his agreement when Jensen tightens his hold just a little on his over-sensitive flesh.

  
They lie there for a long moment, just looking at each other, Jared trying to get a hold of his wandering and blissed out thoughts, Jensen simply staring with a small smile as his hand moves from Jared’s cock to run his finger in mindless circles through Jared’s come, rubbing it into his skin.

  
It isn’t long before the come starts to dry and become itchy and Jensen rolls off the bed toward the bathroom, fetching a washcloth and tossing it to Jared. “Clean up, dude. The game starts in like twenty minutes,” he says as he heads out of the room and Jared just stares in wonder at the empty doorway for a few minutes before cleaning himself up and hoisting up his sweats.

  
They order pizza and watch football and Jared wonders if they should be scratching at their balls and belching because the picture they make is anything but the “guys who really get off on each other” one they’ve been painting the last three days. Jensen’s slouched on the couch, hanging half off and resting a beer on his stomach as his eyes watch the play-by-play on screen, Jared no better as he leans against the arm on the other side. Their knees are touching but that’s about it and they’re both stuffed, a bit buzzed and just downright lazy the entire game.

  
Jared sneaks looks at Jensen occasionally, reveling in his presence. He did this before, too, just looked at him. It’s like his eyes are programmed to seek Jensen out, always roaming until they land on him, no matter where they are. It’s never struck him as strange until now, until he realizes that all those times he sought Jen out, that feeling in the pit of his stomach the moment his eyes caught on the sight of him was probably more than just indigestion. It’s here now, as they sprawl out, silent except for the occasional complaint against a bad call or a cheer when someone gets their shit together and scores an awesome touchdown. It’s here, with Jensen, that Jared feels at peace, at home, and he wonders if that’s why he’s always been drawn to him, why they clicked like they did when they first met. He wonders if the feeling is mutual. If he feels like home to Jensen the way Jensen does for him. Like right and good and yeah. He wonders.

  
“Dude, you’re staring at me again,” Jensen says and his voice is colored with a smile as he turns his head to rest his cheek against the back of the couch.  
Jared can feel a slight blush makes its way to his cheeks and what the hell is he blushing for after all the shit they’ve done so far? It’s ridiculous but it’s there and he ducks his head to hide it behind the curtain of his hair. “Shut up,” he grumbles, turning his eyes back to the television and Jensen chuckles beside him, shifts so their thighs are touching, still balancing that damn beer can on his chest. Jared can’t help but match the small smile he sees on Jensen’s face when he cuts his eyes to the side, sneaking one last look before concentrating on the last play of the game.

  
He tries not to watch as Jensen sits up a little while later, placing his empty can on the table. But he can’t help but notice when Jensen slides his legs up onto the couch and lies down, pillowing his head in Jared’s lap, nuzzling his cheek against the cotton of his sweats before snaking an arm under his thigh with a sigh. Jared just stares down, this evermore present feeling of awe making its way back into the pit of his stomach as he brings his arm down and runs his fingers through the softness of Jensen’s hair.

  
That he’s being allowed this… all of this, it feels like Jared should be at least thinking about it, but it’s all coming so easily, so wanted and he can’t imagine going back now. The thought scares him a little, makes him wonder if once this week is over, maybe it’ll be Jensen putting the brakes on everything and his chest seizes up a bit at the thought, his hands stilling on Jensen’s scalp.

  
It’s a terrifying thought, that Jensen will want to stop this, doesn’t want it, will decide against it after the week is over, but then Jensen makes a grunt of displeasure and shifts under Jared until he starts moving his fingers again. His breath comes out in a long sigh, trepidation and a bit of relief when Jensen grunts again, this time a pleased sound before settling once more to stillness.

  
Jared closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the couch. As much as it seems unlikely at the moment, the fear that this is all they’ll have is still there, and he can’t seem to shake it, even as he feels Jensen tighten his hold around his thigh, nose pressing into the flesh of his leg as he begins to doze lightly. Jared sighs and tries to relax, and eventually, he too falls into slumber to the sound of barely audible commentary from the Best Damn Sports Show.

  
~*~

  
When Jensen wakes him up in the middle of the night to separate to their rooms, Jared drags himself up the stairs after a long pause by Jensen’s door. He wants to go in there, wants to curl up next to Jensen and wrap his arms around him, bury his face in the scent of him and never let go but it’s that want, that urge that makes him head up to his room instead. They’re going to have to talk about this eventually, Jared thinks, because it won’t leave him alone, this feeling of ‘what if’ and the increasing desire for more that he’s feeling when he’s with his best friend. It’s unsettling for Jared, who is usually so confident, so sure of himself and the decisions he makes, but here and now, he just wants to be sure that Jensen feels this too, that it’s not just about the sex, that there really is something going on between them that is far past the boundaries of their friendship.

  
It’s these thoughts that keep him awake for several hours and when he turns to see the clock blinking back a bright six a.m., he gives up on going back to sleep and pulls on a hoodie and sweatpants, calling for the dogs. They follow him downstairs and instead of a heavy run, he simply walks them around the streets of his neighborhood, watching the sun rise slowly, lighting the city in a beautiful golden glow as the world wakes up around him.

  
He doesn’t know how long he walks, didn’t bother to bring his watch or phone in his restless state, so when he walks into the house and smells bacon, he figures he was gone a lot longer than he had initially thought. “Jen?” he calls out as he unhooks the dogs, both of them heading straight for the kitchen and no doubt, their water bowls. He follows behind them and finds Jensen in front of the stove, clad in just a pair of jeans.

  
He smiles when he turns to look at Jared but it falters as his eyes roam over Jared’s face. “What’s wrong?” he asks, setting down the prongs he’d been turning the bacon with beside the skillet.

  
Jared shakes his head, smiling against the fatigue raging through him. “Couldn’t sleep,” he says with a shrug, stepping over to his best friend. Jensen looks confused as Jared wraps his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder and inhaling the tantalizing scent of the fried bacon.

  
“You’re sure?” Jensen’s voice is soft and Jared closes his eyes as he feels Jensen’s hand come up to rest on his shoulder blade. He nods, nuzzling his nose into Jen’s neck and inhaling an entirely different scent. “Jay…” He knows Jensen can read him, knows that he’s worried about something, and Jared doesn’t want him to think he’s freaking about this whole thing, or at least in the way that he assumes Jensen expected when they first discussed this whole “one day – one week” arrangement.

  
Jared doesn’t move from his place, but he tightens his arms a bit as he takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the potentially damaging and embarrassing words he wants to speak. “I…” he starts and trails off, still unsure how to continue, but Jensen urges him on, rubbing a comforting circle around his back. “I don’t think a week’s enough, Jen,” he finally says and it’s not what he wanted to say, not at all, but it sums everything up pretty well and it’s so devastatingly true that his chest seizes as he feels Jensen’s hand still on his back.

  
“What do you mean?”

  
Jared shakes his head. “I dunno, just…” He straightens, takes a step back and out of Jensen’s embrace, eyes looking at a point over Jensen’s shoulder. “What if… What if I’m not the one who doesn’t wanna keep this up when this week’s up?” He purses his lips and forces himself to meet Jensen’s eyes. “What if it’s you?”

  
Jensen’s eyes widen and his lips part in surprise and Jared shakes his head again. He knows he’s being a damn girl, but he didn’t expect to feel like this, figured it would be interesting to try, see if they had something, but the fact that there is something, something Jared is finding harder and harder to stop thinking about… It’s eating him alive not to know if Jensen feels the same.

  
“Jay…” Jensen steps toward him and he reaches out, puts a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Dude, you’re really not too bright sometimes, ya know that?”

  
Jared starts at the amusement in Jensen’s voice and can’t stop the pout of his lips in reaction to it. Jensen steps in even closer, fingers tightening on Jared’s shoulder as he pushes him back against the counter behind him. Something akin to a growl makes its way through Jensen’s lips and then they’re on Jared’s, kissing him forcefully, wiping away any trace of his pout until he’s clinging to Jensen and kissing back, desperately moaning into his mouth.

  
“Stupid shit,” Jensen mumbles as his hand wriggles between them, molds around Jared’s hardening cock over the cloth of his pants as he kisses him again. Jared’s knees buckle slightly as Jensen palms him steadily, breaking away to kiss at the skin of his neck. “Want this…” He sucks hard at Jared’s pulse and Jared grunts, hips bucking into Jensen’s hand as he holds onto him to stay upright. “You have no fuckin’ idea.”

  
“Jen,” Jared pants, trying to find some kind of control, wanting to reciprocate, reaching out to touch, but then Jensen falls away, sinking down to his knees in front of Jared and it’s all Jared can do not to come right then and there.

  
Jensen is staring up at him as he pulls on the hem of the pants, slipping them from his hips to fall to the floor. “Gonna show you,” Jensen says and the warmth of his breath skims across Jared’s cock causing it to pulse and almost touch against those sinful lips.

  
“Jen…” Jared can’t tear his eyes from the sight before him, Jensen grasping his dick, jerking him just twice before taking hold of the base and opening his mouth, slipping his lips over the head and sucking lightly. “Oh, Christ,” Jared groans, both hands moving to grip the counter behind him, barely able to stand as he watches Jensen sink further, his cock disappearing into that wet warmth. His cheeks hollow out, the bones of his face protruding beneath the taut skin as he slides his tongue solidly against the bottom of Jared’s dick.

  
It’s like all of those bad ‘cock-sucking-lips’ jokes have inspired Jensen to make rumor a reality because Jared doesn’t think he’s ever felt anything like this. He’s gasping, skin too tight around him as he watches Jensen pull away, licking and pressing kisses to the head, his shaft before flicking his tongue at the slit. He looks up and winks at Jared before sinking down again and Jared shouts as he feels his cock press against the back of Jensen’s throat before he’s being swallowed down. Jensen’s throat constricts around him once, twice and then he’s coming, orgasm taking them both by surprise but Jensen doesn’t relent, just continues to swallow around him as Jared’s nails bite hard into the granite countertop, trying to regain enough brain function to remember to breathe.

  
When Jensen slides off with a wet pop, Jared is still focusing on not falling over and by the time Jensen is standing, slipping his tongue into Jared’s mouth, letting him taste himself, Jared thinks he might have actually lost the capacity to maintain brain function around Jensen anymore, because fuck, that was the hottest thing he’s ever seen, felt and goddammit, why can’t he catch his breath?

  
“Oh, shit,” Jensen shouts as he pulls away abruptly and Jared startles, follows Jensen with his eyes as he sees him jump to the stove. When Jensen looks at him, his face is crestfallen, bottom lip, still swollen from sucking Jared’s cock, sticking out in a clear, disappointed pout. “I burnt the bacon.”

  
Jared can’t fight back the surge of laughter and barely manages to duck out of the way in time to avoid Jensen’s hand aiming to smack him upside the head. This, of course, causes him to trip over his sweats and he stumbles, falls on his ass with a resounding thud. Jensen cracks up over the scene and when Jared looks down, sees his naked sprawled limbs wrapped around his sweats, sees the gleam in Jensen’s eyes, he shakes his head. He really didn’t have anything to worry about at all. This is him and Jensen. Jensen and him.

  
~*~

  
Jared tries to reciprocate all of the attention Jensen has lavished him with a few hours later. They’re cleaning up the small mess they made attempting to make fajita wraps for lunch and when they’re done, Jared simply steps up behind Jensen and wraps his arms around him, steering him toward his bedroom down the hall.

  
When they get to the bed, Jared’s already half-hard just thinking about getting Jensen out of his jeans and that damned Knicks shirt he wears all the time just to rile Jared up. Jensen allows himself to be turned, raises his arms as his claves meet the edge of the bed and falls to a sit, the shirt effectively coming off with the move. Jared tosses it across the room, hoping it lands somewhere Jensen will never ever find it, before shucking his own shirt and leaning down to catch Jensen’s mouth.

  
So far, they’ve only just done this, never made it too the full body skin-on-skin contact Jared finds himself craving and he braces himself with a hand above Jensen’s head as they fall backward to the mattress, his other hand working quickly to unbutton and unzip Jensen’s jeans. Jensen catches on pretty quickly, bucking his hips up so Jared can slide the jeans and boxers down and off and then Jared feels Jensen slide his hands down to grip at the hem of his sweats.

  
In a graceful pull, Jensen has him bared, their mouths never leaving the other and Jared kicks the offending material to the side. Jensen crawls up the bed and Jared follows, knees coming to rest on either side of his best friend, his lover now, and the thought wrings a groan of appreciation as he lets his free hand roam over the hard planes of Jensen’s stomach.

  
Jensen’s settled on the pillows, his hands roaming up and down Jared’s back in feverish motions, as if he’s trying to claim every spot of flesh with his touch. Jared tilts his hips forward, both of them moaning at the contact as their cocks brush against one another, the friction against their now swollen erections so, so amazing. Jared’s head is spinning, heart pounding as he feels Jensen’s hands cup his ass, pulling him forward to continue the blessed contact but he wants more, needs to show Jensen just how he makes him feel and with a disappointed groan, he forces himself to pull away from Jensen’s mouth.

  
His lips fasten on the first spot of skin he finds, Jensen’s neck and he lavishes the hot flesh with his lips, tongue, sucking and biting lightly as he makes his way down his neck to shoulder. Jensen gasps and his knees rise slightly as he arches when Jared bites down on the firm muscle at the junction of his neck and shoulder, sucking a blood bruise to the surface before licking the skin in apology. Jensen is cursing beneath him, hips pushing upward, trying to find friction, but Jared stays just out of reach, wants to show him, wants to paint Jensen’s body with his touch, his mouth, wants to place the mark of ‘I need this, I need you’ on every inch of muscle and bone.

  
It’s a feeling so consuming that Jared doesn’t even know how to describe it. He’s always been protective of Jen, always trying to placate his shyness, take over when Jensen feels uncomfortable in front of interviewers or fans, always stands maybe too close when someone is critiquing him on set, always just an arm’s length away when Jensen has to prep for a hard scene. But in this moment, he’s completely taken over by the need to protect, to shield the man below him, and he prays that Jensen can feel that need through his actions. Needs him to know it.

  
He crawls slowly down, his hand and mouth touching Jensen, worshipping him, and he feels his heart beat faster with every choked off curse, every whisper of his name from Jensen’s lips as hands settle and clutch onto Jared’s shoulders.

  
Jared’s hand fastens on a nipple as he runs his teeth over tight skin stretched across Jensen’s perfect hipbone, nipping and wringing several gasps from his lover. Jensen’s hips are bucking at the attention and Jared can feel where Jensen’s cock is bumping against his shoulder and he feels his breath catch as he gets his first real glance at Jensen’s cock.

  
It’s flushed and swollen, raised and ready just inches from his face. Jensen is by no means a small man, in body or in spirit and the trend continues to his anatomy, evidently. Jared’s never done this, never had another man’s dick in his mouth, never actually wanted to, but the way Jensen’s made him feel, made him want these last few days, the way he’s always been there all these years make Jared take not even a second thought before he’s wrapping his thumb and index at the base, lips pursed to place the tiniest of kisses on Jensen’s leaking head.

  
Jensen cries out, and Jared can tell he’s physically restraining himself from thrusting upward as he hears the clang of Jensen’s ring against the grate of the headboard. A glance up confirms it and his cock jerks at the sight before him.

  
Jensen’s face is flushed, almost too red as he stares down at Jared, bottom lip bitten between his perfect teeth, both hands raised and clenched tightly around the bars of his headboard. His chest is rising and falling in rapid succession, nipples perfect peaks, a thin sheen of sweat covering every inch of his tanned flesh. His eyes, though, his eyes are what catch Jared’s full attention. They look black as they stare back at him, pupils blown completely wide, lids half fallen in ecstasy and want as he breathes deeply through his nose, fighting for control.

  
Jensen releases his brutal bite on his lip and breathes out, eyes never leaving Jared’s as he slowly strokes up from the base. “Jared…” he says the name almost reverently, eyes glassy with want and wonder and Jared’s chest swells with that familiar warmth, and he lets it course through him, take over, mingle in with his protective and selfless need as he lowers his mouth to take him in.

  
Jensen’s eyelids flutter closed as his mouth opens wide, a soft groan making its way from his lips as he lets his head fall back. The eye contact broken, Jared lets his own eyes close, lets himself concentrate on showing Jensen how much he needs him, how good he makes him feel as he begins to slowly rise and fall on his cock, tongue experimentally twisting around and under the heavy weight of him.

  
Jensen’s soft gasps of encouragement flutter through the haze Jared finds himself in, all of his thoughts centered on bringing the most pleasure possible to his best friend, and he pushes as far down as he can, praying he doesn’t gag before pulling back and away. He’s had this done to him enough times to know what feels good, knows by the way Jensen practically screams when he flicks his tongue beneath the tip that he’s doing an okay job at this for a first-timer and when he feels one of Jensen’s hands land on his head, tangle in his hair, not pushing, just resting, he knows his message is getting through.

  
“Jay… Jared…” Jensen is panting, fingers flexing on his scalp as he rides Jared’s rhythm of up and down, around, again. “I’m gonna…” he warns and Jared hums in acknowledgement and Jensen curses loudly at the vibrations, hips bucking uncontrollably as he begins to come.

  
Jared squeezes his eyes shut, concentrates on the feel of it as Jensen’s cock swells and pulses on his tongue, the feel of the hot strings of his release hitting the roof of his mouth, the back of his throat, the sick and erotic way it slides down his throat as Jensen pants out his name, fingers pushing through his long locks as he finally relaxes, slumping to the bed with a sigh.

  
Jared pulls away and quirks a brow at Jensen’s spent form, can’t stop the smirk from forming on his lips as he licks them clean. “Not bad for a first-timer, huh?” he quips and can’t help the laugh that escapes him when Jensen nods furiously in agreement from under the arm draped over his eyes.

  
“Get your giant ass up here,” Jensen says breathily, his free arm reaching out blindly to grab at Jared. He catches on Jared’s wrist and Jared follows the pull to settle beside him, resting his cheek on Jensen’s shoulder. He’s hard as a brick, cock twitching at the contact of Jensen’s hip as he lies beside him, but right now, the only thing he wants to do is wrap an arm around his best friend and take comfort in the feel of his breath as it settles to a slow rhythm. It’s hypnotizing, and he feels as Jensen starts rubbing fingers through his hair in mindless zigzags, circles and patterns known only to him.

  
Jensen is saying something but it sounds far away as Jared slowly succumbs to the lack of sleep and activities of the day. He hums in agreement to whatever Jensen says and buries his nose in the crook of Jensen’s neck before all is black and slumber takes over.

  
~*~

  
Jensen wakes him a few hours later, insisting they get up before neither of them can sleep that night and Jared finally agrees reluctantly, not really wanting to move from the spot he’s taken against Jensen’s back, arm wrapped around him protectively. He makes a crack about Jensen being the little spoon and the look Jensen shoots him pointedly shuts him up but not without an outstanding smirk.

  
The rest of the night passes by as usual, and if Jensen notices the way Jared leans into him while they play Tony Hawk, or the way he presses a kiss to the side of Jensen’s neck during commercial breaks of The First 48, he doesn’t say anything. In fact, Jared thinks maybe he smiles when Jared takes his hand and molds his own fingers between Jen’s, resting their joined palms on his knee. Thinks maybe he smiles the same way Jared does when Jared follows him to his room at the end of the night instead of heading to his own.

  
He’s pretty sure he smiles the same way Jared does when Jensen kisses him goodnight before tucking his head beneath Jared’s chin, whispering “’Night, man,” against Jared’s chest as Jared drapes an arm around his waist.

  
~*~

  
They’re woken by the sound of Jensen’s phone alarm, and Jensen grumbles loudly, poking Jared in the side until he rolls over to fetch the cell and turn off that horrible chiming sound. They have a meeting with Eric, Kim and Sera at nine, and Jared wonders why Jensen set the alarm for six until he realizes he probably did it so Jared wouldn’t miss his workout, and he can’t help but smile at the thought. He lays a quick kiss to Jensen’s cheek, his co-star already snoring lightly again, before pulling away gently and heading upstairs to change into his workout gear.

  
The dogs look at him curiously from their doorway as he emerges at the top of the stairs and he wonders if they had waited for him last night before shaking his head. If anything, his dogs sleep like Jensen. Dead to the world and unless it’s ending, please do not disturb.

  
He loads up the coffee maker and sets it for seven, lets the dogs out and fills their bowls before heading into the gym and starting his morning routine. He lets his mind go sweetly blank as he trains his body, working the bench press until his arms and pecs feel wobbly with the strain.

  
He’s been on the treadmill for about ten minutes when Jensen appears at the door, coffee mug in one hand, bottle of water in the other. Jared grins at him from his place in the corner of the room and Jensen does a salute with his mug after placing the bottle on the small table by the Bowflex. Jared watches as Jensen sits on the bench, sipping tentatively at his coffee, his eyes sleepy but fixed on Jared as he runs in place.

  
This is new, and it brings a flush to Jared’s chest and face that has nothing to do with his exercise. Jensen’s eyes are still sleepy, but mostly aware and Jared figures he’s on his second cup of liquid life by now, and they’re following the movement of Jared’s chest, his arms. There’s a thoughtful look on Jensen’s face, serene; but Jared can tell by the way Jensen’s brows dip down just slightly in the center that he’s thinking about something and he figures he probably knows what it is.

  
This whole thing, this whole week, has been insane. A rollercoaster full of spins and drops, each progressively more and more thrilling. He’d had his moment of quiet freak-out and he figures maybe Jensen is having his now. They spent the night together, after all, and that is a symbol of something, at least in Jared’s eyes. And he knows Jensen is enough of a Texas boy that it means something to him, too.

  
This whole thing started out almost like an experiment, testing the waters. Jared doubts either of them expected to fall face first into the deep end like they have, and he wonders if when they come up for air in a few days, if things will still be as thrilling as they have been so far. He tosses the thought aside quickly though, when Jensen’s eyes rise to meet his.

  
They’re both drowning and they both know it.

~*~

Eric quirks a brow in their direction during the meeting that makes Jared think he’s onto them, like his super-brain somehow can feel the changes that have occurred with his leading actors over the last few days and it makes him shift uncomfortably in his seat.

Sera and Kim are discussing the logistics of one of the plotlines running throughout the season but Jared can’t concentrate with Kripke’s eyes on him like that. The man is an enigma, a bit scary and a whole lot brilliant. Jared kinda idolizes him in a way, his creative nature and intuitiveness something of an inbred talent that Jared recognizes and respects whole-heartedly.

He feels Jensen’s knee brush his under the table and he’s spurred from his thoughts as he realizes everyone is looking at him now, expectantly, as if they’re waiting for him to answer a question, but yeah, he was zoned out.

“Uh…” he feels the heat rise to his cheeks as he scratches his chin. “Repeat the question?” he asks shyly and Sera shakes her head in amusement.

“Yeah, Sam’s definitely the smart one,” Kim says with a pointed roll of his eyes and a smile. The man has the weirdest sense of humor, relentlessly picks on him, but he’s so endearing to Jared that he can’t help but grin back at him.

“Whatever, Father Christmas,” he chimes back, but then Eric is clearing his throat.

“We need your input on Sam. We were wondering what you think he would’ve done that summer without Dean,” Eric says, and while his tone is light, Jared can tell the answer to this question is important.

He casts a quick glance at Jensen and sees him looking over, eagerly awaiting his answer. He thinks of Sam, how he would’ve felt with Dean gone and once again finds himself placing his own essence in Sam’s shoes, envisioning himself without Jensen. “He’d die,” he says without thinking, his eyes still caught on Jensen’s before he hears his own words and turns away, looking down at the table between him and the Supernatural team.

“He… I think he’d be lost without him. More than in Mystery Spot, because the surrealness of the situation is gone; this is reality. Ya know…” he glances up and gestures with his hands, passion pulsing through him as he feels himself sink into character. “He wouldn’t care anymore, about anything. He’d just want to live long enough to sink his teeth in and take Lilith out in the most painful way possible. He… I really think he’d be completely lost and self-destructive… and maybe, maybe a little darkside without Dean.”

He finishes and meets Eric’s eyes, sees the gleam of approval and sighs with relief. He got it right. Whatever Eric has planned, Jared’s Sam is right on track. In a way, it’s not as encouraging as it should be, when he realizes that he’d be exactly the same way without his best friend. He wouldn’t… no, he couldn’t care anymore. He looks over and meets his co-star’s eyes, still focused on him, a considering look on his face. That familiar warmth flashes hot in Jared’s belly and swells inside him and he blinks suddenly.

Because that’s when it hits him, surrounded by the team and Jensen beside him in a brightly lit office, hour-old coffee sitting in front of him on the wood table. He really wouldn’t survive without Jensen beside him. Because…

He’s in love with him.

He can feel the eyes on him when his forehead hits the table. He really doesn’t wanna think about what this means for Sam.

~*~

Jared’s never really been one to keep things to himself, too vocal, too spastic to really contain things. It’s the reason he talked to Jensen about his concerns the day before after his hours-long walk, and it’s the reason they’re sitting next to each other on the couch, Jensen looking at him curiously and concerned after Jared tells him “We need to talk.”

He’s chewing on his lip, unsure how to say what he’s so certain he needs to say. He keeps thinking maybe it’s too soon, maybe Jen will freak out. It’s not his fault he had a self-realization in the middle of a goddamn board meeting or that he’s way too honest for his own good, but he’s gotta tell Jensen. He just has to, because since he’s thought it, the words have been sitting on the tip of his tongue, just waiting for the chance, and now that he has it, he doesn’t know how to say them.

Sometimes Jared hates himself for being such a damn spaz.

“Jay, what the fuck?” Jensen is impatient, his worry showing through on the lines marring his forehead and Jared takes a deep breath, settles his elbows on his thighs as he sits forward, looking down between his bare feet and the floor.

“I love you,” he says quickly, the words almost rushing together.

Jensen scoffs. “’Course ya do, man,” he says, like it isn’t a big deal and then Jared realizes it isn’t exactly the first time he’s said those three words to his co-star, but never in this context, never in the way he means them now.

He straightens and looks over at Jensen who looks even more confused now than ever. “No,” he says firmly. “In love, Jen.” He makes sure his voice is steady when he says it, but he keeps his words short and simple, fearful that the shaking he feels inside will waver his speech, doesn’t want Jensen to think his nervousness of confessing is doubt or any of the other self-depreciating things Jensen always seems to latch onto at first.

Jensen’s eyes widen and his mouth opens and closes a few times, no words coming through. Jared is searching his mind for whatever he should be saying next, something to take the spot-light off of Jensen and take that deer-in-headlights look off of his face but then Jensen is standing, shoving his hand at Jared. “Come on,” he says roughly and Jared’s eyes narrow in confusion as he takes Jensen’s hand and is hoisted from his seat.

He follows Jensen as he strides towards his room, watches as Jensen strips quickly and efficiently before crawling on the bed. Jared’s lost, doesn’t have the slightest clue what the hell is going on, standing there two steps into the room and blinking rapidly at a naked and beautiful Jensen lying on the bed on his back.

Jensen smiles and the tension seems to snap in the room before evaporating. Jared is already moving as Jensen tells him “Get yer ass over here,” stripping his clothes as he closes in.

Jared crawls onto the bed and Jensen is still smiling at him, hands moving to Jared’s waist to guide him to lie on his side, Jensen following until they’re face to face. “You got…” Jensen kisses him soundly on the lips. He pulls back and Jared swears his eyes are glowing in the dimness of the room. “Any idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that?”

Jared lets out a loud laugh, feels something in his chest practically explode as he hears Jensen’s words, registering the look in Jensen’s eyes as he’s staring back at him. “Seriously?” he asks and it’s unbelievable, how once again Jensen is so much further ahead in the game than he is.

Jensen is grinning like a maniac, the crinkles so deep around his eyes Jared thinks they’ll be permanently stuck like that and finds he doesn’t mind, as long as Jensen keeps smiling like that, looking like that. “Long time, Jay,” he confesses, his voice quiet despite the obvious joy spilling through his eyes.

They lay like that for a long time, just staring back at one another, Jared trying to process this new confession, trying to put it together in his brain, wonder how he missed it, but he realizes Jensen’s the best actor he knows, that he’s better at hiding things about himself than the goddamn Pope, that Jared was allowed in but evidently not all the way in, not until now. “I love you,” he finally says again, breaking the silence and Jensen kisses him as if he’s breathing Jared in to keep him.

He doesn’t think he’s ever been kissed like this, or at least he doesn’t ever remember feeling quite like this when kissing someone, not even with Sandy, and he thought at one point he was going to be with her forever. There’s a finality and a newness and a comfort in this, a feeling of perfect that he’s never felt before settling so deep it feels as if it’s inside each and every cell of his body and Jared can’t get enough.

“We’re skipping lessons five and six,” Jensen mumbles around Jared’s mouth. “Hope you realize this.” And Jared laughs as they tangle together, neither of them knowing where one stops and the other begins and it’s heaven, it’s pure and righteous, unrelenting and powerful. Their hands roam and pull at each other as if trying to crawl inside, mouths kissing and licking, nipping and tasting, legs twining as they roll around, both carefree and intoxicated in the taste and feel of one another.

It’s like falling, Jared realizes. It’s like the highest drop on the roller-coaster, a never ending free-fall that just rips away every constraint of gravity, makes him feel invincible and completely at ease at the same time.

Jensen laughs when Jared brushes his fingertips over the ridges of his ribcage and it sounds so much like a giggle that Jared can’t help but laugh with him, this feeling of lightness swallowing him as Jensen rolls them again until he’s on top, staring down at Jared with those fucking happy, shining eyes.

He’s moving and Jared watches as Jensen stretches over him, pulling open the nightstand drawer and rustling through it before pulling back, dropping a cold, plastic tube and a foil packet on his chest. “Lesson seven,” Jensen says with a grin and before he can say another word, Jared flips them again, Jensen landing on his back with a whoof and a chuckle, spreading his legs as Jared settles between them.

“You sure?” Jared asks, knows Jensen almost never strays course once he’s mapped out a plan. Knows this wasn’t supposed to happen until day seven. But Jensen is tilting his hips upward, knees rising as he braces them with his feet planted solidly on either side of him.

“Swear on all that’s holy, if you don’t fuck me, I’m kickin’ your ass out on the street,” Jensen grumbles and his heat is all in fun and Jared can’t feel his face from smiling for so long. Doesn’t really care if it sticks that way as he reaches for the lube.

He lays a quick kiss on Jensen’s quirked mouth. “’S my house, shorty,” he digs, mouth brushing over Jensen’s lips as he pops open the tube and pours the contents onto his fingers. He’s done this part before, a few times with Sandy, just experimenting, trying out something new in the routine that became their sex life. As he rubs his fingers together, coating them, the look in Jensen’s eyes tells him that this, this between them will never become routine.

“Dun care,” Jensen presses on. “I’ll kick you out and uhg, god-” His voice breaks off as Jared presses the tip of his index finger just below his balls, just a press, a tease of what’s to come and Jared grins mercilessly down at him.

“You were sayin’?” he asks, fingertip pushing lightly on Jensen’s tight entrance, trying not to lose himself in the feel of Jensen twitching against the pad of his finger.

“Christ, Jared…” Jensen arches, pushes against the pressure. “Do it already,” he pleads and all of the playfulness is gone, replaced by the whine of urgent want and the change slams into Jared like a Mack truck.

He presses forward with his wrist until his finger is in just past the first knuckle, bites down on his lip to focus as Jensen lets out a ragged breath at the breach. Jared bends low, lays a kiss to the side of Jensen’s parted lips, curls his finger just slightly before straightening it and pressing further inside.

He pushes solidly, not fast but not stopping until he’s in as far as he can go, Jensen squirming against him, tensing and flexing and holy fuck, this has to be the most amazing thing Jared has ever done in his life. He’s doing this to Jensen, making him writhe with just the press of a single finger.

He pulls his hand away and presses back in, turning his wrist as he works, crooking his finger, reveling in the way Jensen feels inside, hot and sucking him in as if he belongs there.

“More, Jay, come on,” Jensen says, opening his eyes to stare up at Jared, cheeks flushed with arousal, a look so open and vulnerable in his eyes that Jared feels that flash of protectiveness wash over him as he pulls his finger free, sliding his middle in next to it before pushing forward once again.

Jensen hisses, back arching sharply but his eyes never leave Jared’s as he works his way in, stretching against the cinch of muscle, coating his insides until they’re slick and welcoming.

“Jesus, Jen,” Jared breathes out in wonder, unable to look away from the emotions riding in Jensen’s gaze, from the longing and need, the fucking love that it kills Jared to know he’s been hiding all this time. He feels his breath stutter and stop in his chest as he scissors his fingers, feels guilt and naivety curl around his heart at the thought of Jensen hurting at all, ever, because Jared was too simple-minded to see.

He lowers himself again, kissing Jensen’s mouth, tongue reaching in and he pours every apology for every unknown hurt into the kiss, wants Jensen to know how fucking sorry he is for never realizing, for not realizing how he felt, for not knowing how good they could be. “I love you,” he says, pulling away just enough to say the words before he’s kissing him again, fingers working inside, stretching and pressing, exploring.

Jensen tries to speak but Jared won’t give him the opportunity, doesn’t want to stop kissing him, doesn’t care if he never breathes again as long as he can suffocate on Jensen. But then Jensen gasps, fingers tightening almost painfully where they’re clutching Jared’s sides when he brushes an odd-feeling bump and he strokes over the spot again curiously.

Jensen responds immediately, spine curving as his breath hitches, groan making its way from his chest until it settles in the back of Jared’s throat. Jared’s not stupid, knows what he just stumbled upon and he lets his fingers twist just a bit before he presses even harder on the bundle of nerves.

“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck,” Jensen pulls away, his head pressing hard into the pillow behind him, eyes screwing shut as his hips twitch and push down hard, fucking himself on Jared’s fingers.

He lets Jensen ride his fingers for just a bit longer before reaching over to grab the lube and pour more onto his hand, three digits pressing hard against Jensen this time. Jensen babbles something incoherently as Jared works the digits in, a perfect V formed by the folded fingers and he pushes diligently through until Jensen seems to pull him inside and Jared can’t help the pleasured moan he lets out at the feel of it, of Jensen stretched wide around three fingers and just begging for more.

“Jen… so fuckin’ hot…” he whispers, voice breaking around the words, coherent thought cleared from his mind as almost every ounce of blood sinks to his dick as he looks down, follows the tilting of Jensen’s hips as he pushes himself further down onto Jared’s hand. The sight itself makes Jared want to come, knows if he simply rubbed against the cotton sheets, he’d more than likely lose his load right there, but he can’t, he won’t because he wants inside, wants to feel Jensen around him, wants to make love to the best friend he’s ever had, the most amazing person he’s ever met.

His eyes widen almost in sync with his fingers as he watches the reactions coming from Jensen’s body, the stutter-twitch of his hips, the pulse of his cock as Jared forces him wider and wider still, preparing him and soaking his insides with the slippery substance staining his fingers.

Jensen’s eyes open slowly, his hand falling from Jared’s shoulder to catch on the bicep of his arm. Jared looks up, blinks slowly at the wanton look on Jensen’s face, too turned-on to think about anything except the man looking back at him, his lips forming on the word “Please,” as he pulls at Jared’s arm, effectively pulling Jared’s hand from its activities below.

Jared keeps his eyes on Jensen’s as he shifts to his knees. Jensen is reaching blindly at his side, eyes triumphant as he retrieves the foil wrapper from the rumpled sheets, tearing it open and slipping the rolled latex from its sheath. Jared swallows thickly as Jensen reaches forward, one hand holding his cock steady as the other slips the condom on, rolling it down to the base before pinching the tip. The touch makes Jared shiver violently, his cock pulsing hard in Jensen’s hand, but Jensen’s got a steady hold on the base, knows somehow exactly how to touch him so that it’s enough but not too much.

“Jensen,” Jared says, still unable to break his gaze away from those eyes, faded jade staring up at him as Jensen releases him to grip his knees, pull his legs up to rest and expose himself to Jared.

“Please,” Jensen urges and his voice is so fucking quiet, so low that it sends a thrill straight from the top of Jared’s spine to his toes.

Jared grips the bottle of lube and spills the contents on his cock, stroking just once to cover him before he leans forward, bracing all of his weight on one hand as he lines himself up with the other. He watches as Jensen’s eyes fall closed again, arms shaking as they hold his legs open and Jared feels himself tremble in response.

This is it. And it’s everything Jared never knew he wanted, needed.

Jared’s jaw clenches tightly as he presses forward, careful not to thrust, not to hurt Jensen, careful to pace this as he feels the surge of hot and tight take him in. Jensen takes a quick, sharp breath, body tensing and Jared stops, shifts his weight to his knees and brushes Jensen’s hands, relieving him of the task of holding himself open by sliding his forearms under Jensen’s legs.

Jensen takes a deep breath, eyes opening and blinking up at Jared, holding steady as he swallows and nods before Jared pushes forward once again, Jensen’s body willingly taking him in this time as their gazes hold.

Jared’s buried to the hilt, resting flush against Jensen’s ass when Jensen’s lips part, words breaking through on a choked confession. “I love you, Jared,” he says and Jared feels weak at the words, feels his heart trip in his chest as his breath seizes there and refuses to let up.

He slowly guides Jensen’s legs to wrap around him and feels as Jensen hooks his ankles together and Jared slides forward, feels Jensen’s dick hard and wet between them as he latches himself on to Jen’s mouth. His hips pull away slowly before thrusting back inside, the smooth glide of slick easing the way as he pushes farther into his best friend, co-star, lover.

“Say it again,” Jared tells him, the muscles of his ass relaxing as he pulls away again, clenching as he pushes forward and Jensen is keening, hands holding onto Jared’s hair at his temples.

“Love…” Jensen gasps as Jared brushes against that bundle inside, huffs a breath as he thrusts against it, hard. “So fuckin’ much,” he rambles, voice cracking and fading into a moan as Jared sets a steady pace, in and out, pull and push, so fucking good and tight and perfect.

Jared’s heart is beating twice as fast as his thrusts, his breath too quick and he can’t seem to keep a single thought that doesn’t involve Jensen and hot, tight, fuck and his body is screaming at him, skin too hot, Jensen’s flesh even hotter against him as they move together, Jensen pushing up into every tilt of Jared’s hips.

Every broken sound of pleasure from Jensen makes it harder and harder for Jared to keep control and as he feels his orgasm building he braces himself on his elbow, freeing a hand to slip between them. “Need…” he buries his face in Jensen’s neck, pace picking up as he wraps his fingers around Jensen’s cock, hips thrusting hard enough to move the king-sized bed beneath them. “Come for me… need you to…” he speaks into Jensen’s skin, kisses the spot as he hits home, Jensen crying out below him.

He pulls back and feels the coil of heat begin to swell in his body as he jacks Jensen off to the pace of his thrusts and then, with a cry of Jared’s name, Jensen is tensing, cock spurting between them hot and wet and Jared bites down into the firm muscle of his shoulder as he feels himself swell, eyes squeezing shut as he rides into Jensen, orgasm crashing over him like a black tide and his moan is muffled by the tan flesh trapped between his teeth.

He releases the abused skin and presses a wet kiss of apology against it as his vision begins to clear behind his closed eyes. He knows he’s practically smothering Jensen, but he can’t move, can’t think beyond fuck, that was good and Jensen’s hand is smoothing down his back, lovingly caressing him as they breath in tandem. Heaven couldn’t feel this awesome, seriously.

“Jay… You gotta move dude,” Jensen laughs after a few minutes and his voice is strained by Jared’s weight atop him. Jared summons up all of his remaining energy and pulls out of Jensen slowly, both of them hissing at the delicate contact before Jared rolls onto his side, pulling and tying the rubber and throwing it in the trashcan next to the nightstand.

“That was probably the hottest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever done, in my life, hands down,” he rambles as he stares up at the ceiling, his heart still attempting to calm to a respectable pace. Jensen snorts beside him and Jared feels the bed shift as Jensen reaches for something on the floor, smiles when he looks over and sees him reemerge with his shirt and starts wiping Jared’s stomach clean before tending to himself.

“I’m just that good,” Jensen quips before throwing the shirt across the room and lying back, arms behind his head.

They lie there in mostly silence, their hearts and breaths the only sounds and Jared’s mind starts wandering. He turns, props his head on his hand, elbow on the pillow as he regards Jensen curiously. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, no use beating around the bush. He still feels guilty for never seeing, but again, Jen’s one hell of an actor, and who knows what his reaction would’ve been if Jensen had said something in the beginning.

Jensen looks over at him, brow cocked for a moment before he lets out a sigh, shifting to mimic Jared’s position until they’re face to face. “You were with Sandy, man,” he says resignedly, as if he’d thought about this enough on his own. He makes a senseless gesture with his free hand as he continues, “And up until Sunday, I thought you were like, one-hundred percent raw-meat-and-eggs Texas straight.” He glances up and meets Jared’s eyes and Jared can see the regret, the repressed sadness there and all he wants to do is take it all away. “I couldn’t tell you, Jay. I just… I couldn’t risk it.”

Jared nods, understands, but it doesn’t negate the fact that Jensen had been hurt by not telling him, and that truth is spelled out clearly for Jared to see now, in Jensen’s eyes, the way his words curl around the words hesitantly.

“I’m sorry,” he says and he means it so much. He would never have hurt Jensen if he could help it. Never, not even before this.

Jensen just shakes his head, a smile pulling his lips wide. “What for? Jay, man. We just had life-alteringly good sex. And you’re apologizing? Did Mamma Padalecki really drop you on your head as a baby, cause I thought they were kiddin’ about that.”

“You’re such an ass,” Jared laughs, can feel his dimples sinking in as Jensen grins at him. “I never wanna see you hurt, is all. I just… I can’t think about how-”

“Jay, shut up,” Jensen interrupts him and Jared’s eyes widen in surprise. “Things… They have a way of workin’ out in their own way, ya know? Who’s to say this isn’t the exact way things weren’t supposed to go?”

And his logic is sound, Jared can’t deny that. Can’t deny that he’s probably the happiest he’s ever been, just laying here naked and sated and fucking worn the fuck out with Jensen.

“Yeah, guess you’re right,” he concedes and Jensen thumps him lightly on the forehead.

“’Course I’m right,” he says with a smirk, lowering to snuggle down into the pillow. “Now, come down here and keep me warm, bitch.”

Jared laughs again, warm and open and does as he’s told, settling himself beside Jensen and draping an arm around his waist as Jensen scoots closer until they’re touching from head to toe, Jensen’s leg pressing through to tangle with Jared’s.

“Love you, man,” Jensen says quietly, breath a whisper against Jared’s chest and Jared smiles, kisses the top of his head.

“You, too, Jen.”

And Jared closes his eyes, contentment and fulfillment settling into him as he feels the first pulls of slumber and he can’t help but think that this has been a week of firsts, but that each one was just an extension of everything they’ve had since day one. Each and every one of them… leading them here.


End file.
